I’m pretty sure people on the subway thought I was weird for cracking up over what looked like nothing.
Q: If I haven’t seen one of the previous Harry Potter films, will I understand what’s going on in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2?
A: Good God, no. Actually, you may not understand what’s going on even if you’ve seen the other seven films.
Q: Does it matter?
Q: I kept my ticket stub from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. Do I need to mail it off for a voucher or will they accept the stub at the theater so I can see the last half of a movie I paid for back in November?
A: Sadly, your ticket to Part 1 will not gain you admission to Part 2.
Q: What’s the biggest difference between Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 and Part 2?
A: Part 1 was easily accessible to non–Harry Potter fans and had a comedic tone not previously seen in the franchise. Part 2 feels more like the other films in the series—but of all the films, it is, without a doubt, the least accessible to the non-fan.
Q: Where does Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 pick up from the first film?
A: Exactly where Part 1 left off—even before it gets to the Warner Bros. logo. So don’t expect a nifty, “Previously, on Knots Landing”–type recap montage to get you caught up.
Q: Where did Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 leave off?
A: With Voldemort stealing the Elder Wand from Dumbledore’s tomb.
Q: Who is Voldemort and what is an Elder Wand?
A: Good luck watching this movie, buddy.
Q: For how many years after Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was released, in 2001, did you think Dumbledore’s name was pronounced “Dumbledorf”?
Q: The tagline for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 is “It all ends.” Is that true?
A: Yes, the movies do end. But, really, one could say that about a lot of movies. If Mannequin Two: On the Move was rereleased into theaters next week, the posters technically could read, “It all ends.”
Q: Can I see Mannequin Two: On the Move without seeing the first Mannequin?
A: Yes, other than Hollywood Montrose, it doesn’t even involve the same characters.
Q: It’s been a few months since I’ve seen Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. What is it that Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint), and Hermione (Emma Watson) are trying to do?
A: Harry, Ron, and Hermione are trying to locate the seven horcruxes and destroy them.
Q: Why are they trying to destroy the horcruxes?
A: Because Voldemort split his soul into seven pieces, hiding each one in an object. To defeat Voldemort, they must destroy the seven horcruxes.
Q: What two kinds of people are there in the world?
A: There are people who think that last answer made perfect sense, and there are people who want to punch the people who think that last answer made perfect sense.
Q: Hogwarts really wasn’t a major part of the story in Part 1. Will I see Hogwarts in Part 2?
A: Yes, Hogwarts is where most of the action in Part 2 takes place. Only now Hogwarts is run by the possibly villainous Severus Snape, and the school is guarded by balloon-monster-type spirits of some sort.
Q: Why does Hogwarts play such a major role?
A: Because Harry, Ron, and Hermione must return to Hogwarts to find one of the last remaining horcruxes.
Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are you that after you finish this piece, you’ll never have to type the word “horcruxes” again?
Q: How should I properly prepare for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2?
A: If you have time, you should really watch all seven previous films and read the roughly 4,000 pages of the book series to ensure that you will know everything that is going on.
Q: Will I like Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2?
A: Yes, but your level of appreciation is directly tied to your working knowledge of the book series. Let’s just say that not a lot of time is spent on exposition. The movie assumes that either you know this shit by now or you don’t.
Q: Who is the most interesting character in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2?
A: Neville Longbottom.
Q: If I’ve read the book and I’m aware of a part that takes place at the very end, and I’m very much hoping that scene is included—will I be disappointed?
A: No, but then yes.
Q: What will Emma Watson look like 19 years from now?
A: Exactly what she looks like today.
Q: Were you confused by Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2?
A: Over the past year, I’ve seen every previous Harry Potter film. After Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, I had approximately 80 questions—ranging from “Who was that?” to “Is that guy Harry’s father?”—for my girlfriend, who has read the books.
Q: Sherman Potter is Harry’s father, right?
A: To the best of my knowledge, Harry Potter and M*A*S*H are not related.
Q: Is Harry Potter the best film series with eight installments?
A: Yes, although it’s really a difficult stretch to declare that Harry Potter is much better than Deep Throat, which, coincidentally, also has eight installments.
Q: If you’re going to be blurbed in this weekend’s commercials for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, what quote do you think will be used?
A: “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 is much better than Deep Throat!” —Mike Ryan, Vanity Fair
source: Vanity Fair